The United States roughly spends an excess of $100 billion, including private and public expenditures, a year towards medical research on new ways to fight diseases and cancer.  One might say “Wow, that’s a lot of money spent on just research, but at least it’s for a good cause”.  That person might be right.  Spending all that money to save lives is somehow justified (some might proclaim that’s not enough).

As humans, we tend to devout our time and resources to things that give us the greatest satisfaction.  If a person is thrifty on the amount of money he spends on food but decides to buy a new German luxury car you can say physical possessions is more important then him then correct nutritional nourishment.  Thus, one could postulate that if we vastly spend more money on item A then item B item A seems to hold greater importance.

Now consider the fact that the United States government has appropriated over $532 billion in its 2007 fiscal budget for the Department of Defense.  These guys have the duty to serve and protect, and not to mention invent new nifty ways and devices to kill other human beings.  Speaking of devices, the F/A – 22 raptor is held as the new generation of airplane fighters for the USAF.  The price tag comes to $320 million.  Each.   

We can sleep easy tonight knowing we are sending a $320 million war plane into the Middle East to deliver an $18,000 1,000 lb JDAM bomb onto a terrorist that makes $1,500 in wages a year, who playing Mario Cart on his $20 Super Nintendo (or browsing MySpace for hot virtual bitches) while eating his $5 McDonald’s combo meal while sitting in his shack he built for free from materials found at the junk yard.  Indeed, these guys are a threat to us. 

On the other hand a terrorist can lace a letter with anthrax, place a 39 cent stamp on an envelope, and have a government agency (USPS) deliver the tainted latter to an unsuspecting recipient.  No $320 million delivery device needed.  The United States government provides one for a nominal fee.  

Asinine – adj.

1. foolish, unintelligent, or silly; stupid: It is surprising that supposedly intelligent people can make such asinine statements. 

2. of or like an ass: asinine obstinacy; asinine features.

“Her face is a six but I’d give her ass a nine.”

The Finger Method

How Asian people prepare rice.

Use:

To scoop out two bowls of rice out of your 25lb or 50lb rice bag, with the big Buddha on the front, and put it in the removable pot of your Zojiriushi rice cooker machine.

Rinse your rice with cold water three times.

Drain the pot and fill it up with water so that the water level is only about half an inch high.  There is a special tool that Asian people use that has been passed on for thousands of years through generations to accurately measure the correct amount of water to use in your rice.

That’s right.  Use your index finger, dip it into the rice pot, and check if the water level is at your first knuckle of your finger.   Adjust  water level as needed.

Replace the removeable rice pot into your Zojiriushi machine and hit the “cook” button.  

As a side note, you know you aren’t Asian when you’ve eaten rice from a box, i.e.:

When I was young there were two things that scared me.

 Whenever I watched the show “America’s Most Wanted” on television I was pretty scared that one of the criminals showcased on the show was stalking me outside my window while I was watching it.  Although there was a very remote chance that any of them would actually make it a habit of watching themselves on T.V. through other people’s windows, for the purposes of vanity, I couldn’t disregard that possibility.  The eerie music the show played, the horrendous crimes the criminals committed during the reenactments, and seemingly never aging John Walsh (the host) became potent catalysts for my irrational fear.

 After watching an episode of “Reading Rainbow” on PBS about Egyptian mummies I was rather terrified of dark rooms and corners for the reason that at any given moment a mummy may lunge at me from the shadows and kidnap me (to where I’m not sure, maybe France?).  Every time I was in a dark room I would scurry into a lighted room or scramble to flick the light switch on.  Of course, a mummy never took me to France but if one decided to kidnap me tomorrow I would happily go.

Now that I’m slightly older I have other fears to contend with such as finding a job, getting “hired” by a girl, and future financial obligations.  Now it makes me really wish that a mummy had taken me away so I wouldn’t have to deal with growing up.

The history behind "Yellow Fever"

America is truly a capitalistic country.  Whenever possible, producers try to reduce production costs to raise profits.  In some cases, reducing production and overhead costs means outsourcing certain tasks overseas to countries such as China or India.  As you may know, car producers have moved their plants down south to Mexico and large apparel companies such as Nike produces most of their products in Asia.  They found out that the products and services they produced were almost on par with stuff made in the States.  This was about 10-15 years ago. 

Then one day a single (marital status) white guy was sitting at his desk and contemplated what else he could outsource since moving production overseas was so much cheaper.  Then a female Asian secretary came into his office to deliver a memo to him.  After she left the idea hit him – if he could outsource manufacturing to Asia why can’t he outsource his love life to Asian women too?  It made sense to him, they were easier to please, more abundant, and not too shabby looking to boot; a solid business plan some might say.  

“Yellow Fever” is not out of fetishism for Asian women but the next step in the evolutionary chain of economics and capitalism.  Contrary to popular belief that “Yellow Fever” is fetishism, it was in fact derived directly from the resourcefulness of one white businessman trying to limit his capital expenditure and making a sound investment for his future. 

So the white man started to date the Asian secretary and not before long several of his co-workers caught on to the ingenious idea and also started outsourcing their love life to Asian women.  Soon, the economic and social incentive to date and Asian woman became so great that it soon overshadowed the viability of dating a white girl, who now seems too demanding, costly, and have the tendency to become overweight in later years. 

White men dating Asian women became so common place that that soon society abolished the notion that dating an Asian woman was a business decision in the first place.  Now, “Yellow Fever” is just a simple, but unexplainable, affinity towards Asian women brought on by the popular notion that women from the East are less confrontational, obedient, and innately possess master-servant complex.